Grey

Come away with me,
come to the other side...
leave this world behind
with all its misery and pain
...fly with me.

The world went grey after
that day
and a part of me did die.

But the sunshine still I seek
and the hope it brings I still dream.
.

Words (made famous by Sex and The City The Movie)

Here these beautiful words are in all their glory...
I wonder if they were ever sent, considering they were
found in Beethoven's belongings after his death?

Good morning, on July 7th

Even when I am in bed my thoughts rush to you, my eternally beloved, now and then joyfully, then again sadly, waiting to know whether Fate will hear our prayer--To face life I must live altogether with you or never see you. Yes, I am resolved to be a wanderer abroad until I can fly to your arms and say that I have found my true home with you and enfolded in your arms can let my soul be wafted to the realm on blessed spirits--alas, unfortunately it must be so--You will become composed, the more so as you know that I am faithful to you; no other woman can ever possess my heart--never--never--Oh God, why must one be separated from her who is so dear. Yet my life in V[ienna] at present is a miserable life--Your love has made me both the happiest and the unhappiest of mortals--At my age I now need stability and regularity in my life--can this coexist with our relationship?--Angel, I have just heard that the post goes every day--and therefore I must close, so that you may receive the letter immediately--Be calm; for only by calmly considering our lives can we achieve our purpose to live together--Be calm--love me--Today--yesterday--what tearful longing for you--for you--you--my life--my all--all good wishes to you--Oh, do continue to love me--never misjudge your lover's most faithful heart.

ever yours
ever mine
ever ours

L.

"Act as you speak, speak as you feel; do not play false to your own conscience; do not cover your thoughts in a cloak of falsehood; do not suppress your conscience by forcibly enslaving it and embarking on actions not approved by it."

Sai Baba

Remember Me

Do you ever feel like one of a kind?

Just got home from a pre-screening of REMEMBER ME at the Regent...beautiful movie, so incredibly stirring and terribly sad. I was left paralysed with emotion at the end, tears streaming down my face. I was hoping the lights wouldn't go on so quickly...that I would be given a little more time to collect myself but alas on they flicked! As all the chatty people streamed past me heading for the exit, I looked away hoping noone would notice me crying in the soft lighting. I thought, 'what is wrong with these people - why can they just jump up so quickly and be so verbal??'. I guess I identified strongly with this one and perhaps all the chatter was a good sign...that it got people thinking??

I adored Robert Pattinson's otherworldly presence, sensitivity and 'James Dean-ness' - there is this scene where he's in the bathtub with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth - strongly reminiscent of the late actor.

Loved the honesty in this film - it probably won't make it into my favourite top ten movies ever but I will remember, Remember Me.

Bright Star

On the weekend I took myself off to see an advanced screening of the new Jane Campion film "Bright Star", a tale penned by Campion about the love affair between John Keats & Fanny Brawne. I have to say that this is the best film I have seen in quite some time, finally a period piece that doesn't try too hard, one that you can believe in. Oh, how I can see myself in Fanny Brawne - the shameless romantic, oh how I'm sick of the Jane Austin affair of love only being relinquished once a girls "situation" is assured of - Fanny loved Mr Keats unabashedly. And Abbie Cornish was delightful, I don't care whose husband she stole or any of that tabloid chatter, she is a GREAT actor. The scene in which she takes a key from around her neck to unlock a case for her beloved is perhaps one of the most erotic moments captured on film - I shuddered in my seat.

Bright star, would I were stedfast as thou art--
Not in lone splendour hung aloft the night
And watching, with eternal lids apart,
Like nature's patient, sleepless Eremite,
The moving waters at their priestlike task
Of pure ablution round earth's human shores,
Or gazing on the new soft-fallen mask
Of snow upon the mountains and the moors--
No--yet still stedfast, still unchangeable,
Pillow'd upon my fair love's ripening breast,

To feel for ever its soft fall and swell,
Awake for ever in a sweet unrest,
Still, still to hear her tender-taken breath,
And so live ever--or else swoon to death.

- KEATS

Love Letters - John Keats

To Fanny Brawne, 1820

Sweetest Fanny,

- You fear sometimes I do not love you so much as you wish? My dear Girl, I love you ever and ever and without reserve. The more I have known, the more I have loved. In every way, - even my jealousies have been agonies of Love; in the hottest fit I ever had I would have died for you. I have vexed you too much. But for Love! Can I help it? You are always new. The last of your kisses was ever the sweetest, the last smile the brightest, the last movement the gracefullest. When you passed by my window home yesterday, I was filled with as much admiration as if I had seen you for the first time. You uttered half a complaint once that I only loved your beauty. Have I nothing else then to love in you but that? Do I not see a heart naturally furnished with wings imprison itself with me? No ill prospect has been able to turn your thoughts a moment from me. This perhaps should be as much a subject of sorrow as of joy - but I will not talk of that. Even if you did not love me I could not help an entire devotion to you: how much more deeply then must I feel for knowing you love me. My Mind has been the most discontented and restless one that was ever put into a body too small for it. I never felt my mind repose upon anything with complete and undistracted enjoyment - upon no person but you. When you are in the room my thoughts never fly out the window; you always concentrate my whole senses. The anxiety shown about our Loves in your last note is an immense pleasure to me; however, you must not suffer such speculations to molest you any more; nor will I any more believe you can have the least pique against me. Brown is gone out - but here is Mrs Wylie - when she is gone I shall be awake for you. Remembrances to your mother.

Your affectoinate,

J. Keats

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